The Tale of “The Epic YES! of My Mother”
Once upon a time, my mom Edie LOVEd to celebrate. She wanted every occasion to include a gathering, and for every gathering to have as many of her people there as possible.
Our last celebration was Valentine’s Day 2019. Kathryn and I flew to Florida knowing my mother / her grandmother wouldn’t be alive much longer. Monday the three of us planned the party we’d have at the hospital on Thursday if she was still there. She died on Wednesday 2/13. Kat and I still celebrated the next day— I mean, we had to.
But I guess to know why that was so important, you’d have to know about the grand roaring lavish surprise party I planned for my mom's 69th birthday in November 2014. It was a huge success, so many people came, even my brothers from out of state, and she knew nothing about it ahead of time. Her lifelong dream to be celebrated in this way was finally fulfilled.
But I guess to know why that was so important, you’d have to know about the time my mother and I went to therapy together at her request in 2009. The issue was the conflict and disparity provoked by me not caring about birthdays and holidays, and those celebrations being some of the most important in the world to her. We worked it through, and for the first time ever I gave my mom a birthday gift that November... AND a card.
But I guess to know why that was so important, you’d have to know about my mother being born in a European refugee camp on November 10, 1944, and her sister being born on the same day in 1945. The Schelert family emigrated to Nebraska in 1952, and my grandfather died six months later. My mom and her five siblings grew up in some intense poverty. My grandmother did her best, but my mom never felt important, or special, or even particularly LOVEd, especially on her shared-with-sister birthday.
Edie’s process of manifesting wholesale celebration into her life is only one example of the epic YES! she generated. Just sayin’.